


Runaway Bride

by MollyOCallaghan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 11:44:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11379513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyOCallaghan/pseuds/MollyOCallaghan
Summary: Emma always thought your wedding day was supposed to be the happiest day of your life. She seriously questioned the accuracy of that when she feels like bolting from hers. And it certainly doesn't help when old flame Killian Jones decides to show up and throw her whole world into a spin.





	Runaway Bride

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I've never posted two works this close together before I feel very accomplished;) My muse has been wildly active lately. 
> 
> I started this like six months ago and I thought it was just going to be one of those things that I abandon and never return to. But like I said, my muse has been active and it really took off with this. Hope you enjoy!<3

Emma looked in the mirror and smoothed out the wrinkles in her dress, wondering, not for the first time, what she was doing here.

A bride should be thrilled on her wedding day, right? That’s what they always said in movies. It’s what she read in books. So why exactly was she standing here, unable to breathe and drowning in regrets?

A knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts and she suddenly realized she’d been held up in this dressing room far too long. Her head was still spinning but she pulled herself away from her reflection and answered the door, doing her best to put on a smile.

“Emma…” Mary Margaret beamed at her. “You look _so_ beautiful.”

Her heart clenched in her chest as she watched her best friend come to tears over her. She felt like the room was about to swallow her.

Mary had been the one to set her and Graham up in the first place. Everything up to this moment had been the doing of the woman before her and she knew- she just _knew_ that if she found out what she was feeling right now, her heart would break.

“Well anyone would look beautiful with ten pounds of makeup on their face and an entire bottle of hairspray holding up their hair.”

“Oh, please,” Mary swatted her shoulder before pushing past her and taking a seat on the sofa. “Come sit. I have something for you.”

Emma did as told, not wanting to see what would happen if she didn’t.

Mary Margret may of seemed sweet and harmless but make her mad and she suddenly turned into a drill sergeant who just happened to have a pixie cut and a deep love of cashmere.

She watched nervously as Mary pulled out a bag from under the sofa and began to dig through it. This all felt so familiar. The amount of times the two of them had sat across from each other sharing girl talk in the last ten years were countless.

Ever since she’d moved to Storybrooke with Ingrid, Mary had been there to make her feel welcome and loved. She hated that this was the last thing she wanted to be doing at the moment. She’d never once wanted to hide anything from her friend and yet here she was, on the most important day of her life feeling things no bride should ever feel and she couldn’t bring herself to say a word about it to the woman across from her.

“Emma, do you remember two years ago, when we went shopping for my wedding dress literally _hours_ before my wedding because mine was lost on the way to the venue and I was so incredibly upset that I wouldn’t talk to anyone, not even you?”

Emma swallowed hard. Did she know what was going on in her head right now?

“Yeah… you locked yourself in the dressing room and started chucking all the dresses you’d tried on at the consultant.”

The two laughed at the memory. For that moment, Emma almost forgot she was having any reservations at all. Until her friend pulled out a sparkling veil with a tiny tiara attached to the end.

“They were ready to throw me out forcefully when my best friend knocked on the door and slid the most beautiful veil under the stall.” She got up, walking around Emma and placing the veil in her hair. “My mother’s veil. The one thing of my ensemble that had made it to my wedding that day. And when I saw it, the tears just stopped.”

Emma’s vision blurred as she gazed at herself in the mirror. “Mary Margaret, I can’t take this…”

She was going to say more, going to spill it all out to her and make the nightmare end right then and there. But Mary shushed her and spun her around, stroking her hair as she gazed at her.

“You are going to be the most beautiful bride when you walk down that aisle.”

A tear dripped down her cheek. “ I… I hope so.”

There was nothing but silence in the moment following. Emma found peace in it. Mary was the only person she could sit in complete quietness with and have it not be awkward. She wanted it to never end, but life wasn’t that good to her.

Once again, there was a knock on her door. And the voice following it was the last thing in the world she wanted to hear right now.

“Emma, love, may I have a word?”

Mary Margaret rolled her eyes, preparing- no doubt- to tell him to go away. But Emma stopped her before she could say a word.

“It’s okay, Mary.”

She clearly wasn’t happy but didn’t contradict Emma. She did, however, make a point of opening the door as abruptly as she could, glaring daggers at the man behind it.

“Mary Margaret. You look lovely today.”

The look that she gave him was one for the books.

“Killian. You really haven’t changed a bit since the last time I saw you, have you?”

He smirked in that all too familiar way, flashing his dazzling smile at her. “Still just as dashing, aye?”

Emma held her breath as she awaited Mary’s next words, watching as the tiny woman sized up the man before her.

“I was going to say just as much of a self-serving dirt bag but sure, that one works too.” She flashed him a smile before shoving past him and disappearing down the hall.

“Well, then. Good to see you again, too.”

Emma was about to laugh when his eyes fell on her and suddenly whatever amusement she was feeling faded into thin air.

“ _Wow_. You look…”

Her throat felt tight. Couldn’t the church give her a room that wasn’t so stuffy?

“I know.” She joked, needing something- _anything_ to make what she was feeling disappear.

She hadn’t seen Killian Jones since the night she sat in her room sobbing uncontrollably over her wreck of a life four years ago. When he had held her until she could breathe again and kissed away her tears. The night they realized they were in love… the night he ended everything.

She had done everything in her power to not see him ever again and had succeeded completely until she had been stupid enough to write his name on an invitation to her wedding.

Now here she was, standing before him in a white dress that they both knew she shouldn’t be wearing, cursing the day she put that envelope in the mail.

He smiled at her in that same way he used to when they were 18 and enamored with each other in a way neither of them quite understood. She hated that it still made her feel the same way it did back then.

She shouldn’t be here with him right now. This was all wrong.

“Emma…”

“Did you have a good trip up?”

It was stupid. Changing the subject just so she didn’t have to have this conversation with him. But she had to. She couldn’t do this with him. Not again. Not now.

He shook his head, looking up at the ceiling as he considered his next words.

Then would've been a good time for someone to knock on the door again and end this mess before she got any deeper. But they didn’t and now Killian was close- _too_ close. She could smell his cologne and see the tiny flecks of gold swimming in his bright blue eyes.

The room felt like a sauna all of the sudden.

“Please don’t do that, Swan.”

She smiled, diverting her gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. You’ve always done that. Changed the subject when things get uncomfortable for you.”

It sucked how well he knew her. It sucked even more when he placed his hand on her chin and forced her to look him in the eye, giving her a look that told her he knew more than she even thought. She desperately wanted the ground to open up and swallow her right now. Anything to make this moment end.

“Don’t do it.” He whispered. Broken, desperate.        “Fine. I won’t change the subject anymore.” He shook his head, stroking her cheek with his thumb.         “No, Emma… I mean don’t...”

He couldn’t seem to find the right words. Instead, he let his hand fall to her waist, her breath hitching as he began to inch closer and closer to her lips. She closed her eyes, wanting, just for a second, to let him do it. Needing to feel his lips on hers.

But life had other plans. Someone with star timing chose this exact moment to knock on the door.

“Emma, sweetie, it’s time.” The sound of Ingrid’s voice brought  her back into the world with a crash, the fog lifting from her mind as she stumbled back a few steps. Just when she thought things couldn’t get any worse for her today.

“I…”

Killian watched her intently, hope filling his blue orbs for an instant before fading away when she shook her head. It was a small gesture. Almost impossible to even see. But he knew what it meant.

“Very well, then… I guess I should go find my seat.”

Tears welled up in her eyes, her heart breaking as she watched him walk away.

It felt like it was that night four years ago all over again. She wasn’t 21 anymore and he wasn’t her boyfriend. But the pain was the same and the wounds she thought healed long ago felt fresher than ever. All she wanted to do was fall to the floor and cry until her body ached but it _wasn’t_ four years ago. This was her wedding day. Graham was her choice and she had to own that.

Ingrid watched Killian curiously as he walked past her before settling her gaze on Emma. “Are you ok, baby?”

Emma nodded, a tight smile on her lips. “I’m great.”

She knew better than to think Ingrid fell for her lie but she also knew she wouldn’t push it. Ingrid had never pushed her.

“Ok. Then let’s go get you married.”

The words made her feel sick to her stomach but she did her best not to let it show and was successful enough. This was happening. She made this commitment six months ago and she was not going to back out now.

She smiled as her adoptive mother stroked her hair affectionately and linked her arm in hers.

Everything would be fine.

Just fine.

+++

 

The hallway seemed to be closing in on her just as much as her dressing room.

Everyone beamed at her as she walked by. A gesture that to most would be flattering but to Emma just made the whole situation even more uncomfortable.

She could hear the faint sound of the organ playing in the chapel and her bridesmaids were all lined up in front of its mahogany doors. Everything and everyone was waiting for her.

“Here comes the bride.” Mary Margaret said with a way too enthusiastic smile as she approaches.

“About time,” Ruby adds, a smirk on her bright red lips “I was beginning to think you were gonna blow this whole thing off.”

Emma froze at that, trying her best to keep her smile but failing completely.

Mary, however was none too shy about shooting her fellow bridesmaid a nasty look. “Ruby, that is not funny.”

The brunette didn’t seem fazed in the least, simply shrugging before turning back towards the door. “I thought it was.”

It looked for a moment as though Mary would reply but Emma was grateful when she didn’t. Even if it was just a joke, she had no desire to dwell on the subject.

The next moment, the door swung open, revealing a room full of awaiting eyes as each of her bridesmaids began to make their way down the aisle.

Maybe it was normal to feel like making a run for it right before you get married. Maybe that was all part of the process. Cold Feet.

Emma doubted that as the line of bridesmaids began to dwindle down and she still felt like throwing up.

They say a bride has reservations until the moment she sees her groom, then everything changes. But that didn’t seem to ring true either, no matter how hard Emma tried to focus on the man at the end of the aisle. In fact, seeing him looking so sure and confident when she was anything _but_ only made her feel worse.

Was her dress always this white? She concentrated on the glaring pearl color of her silk gown, the brightness of it suddenly overwhelming.

“Emma, honey, are you sure you’re alright?” Ingrid felt her forehead, pushing aside the rogue pieces of hair that fell to frame her face. “You’re burning up.”

The worried tone in her mother’s voice broke her heart. She’d never kept anything from Ingrid since she adopted her all those years ago. But she couldn’t tell her this now, not when there was a room full of people and her fiancé expecting her in less than a minute.

“I’m fine, I promise. It’s just a little hot in here.” Ingrid opened her mouth to say something but before she could get a word out, the wedding march blasted from the next room. Both women turned their gaze to the door. “Emma… you don’t have to-“

Emma stopped her before she could finish, linking her arm in hers once more. “Let’s go.”

Everyone watched with indescribable joy on their faces as she walked down the narrow aisle. They whispered things to each other and smiled. It all made her feel like a show horse.

_It’s okay. Everything’s okay_.

She’d hoped that if she repeated the words over and over in her head that they would eventually be true. But she was more than halfway down the aisle and she still didn’t believe them.

The preacher smiled at her when she reached the end. “Who gives this woman to be married today?”

Ingrid rubbed her arm gently before letting go, placing her hand in Graham’s. “Her mother.”

The answer seemed to satisfy him. He straightened his coat and diverted his gaze to the book in his hands, clearing his throat before beginning the ceremony.

“We are gathered here today…” He announced loudly, “To witness the union of Miss Emma Swan and Mr. Graham Humbert as husband and wife.”

_Wife_. Emma didn’t so much like the sound of that.

The preacher continued on, going over several more points that she couldn’t actually hear over the ringing in her ears. She felt a light squeeze and she looked over, seeing a smiling Graham immediately.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered.

It made her smile in spite of herself. The white noise in her head increased as the ceremony dragged on. If she wasn’t standing before a whole congregation of people, she’d have made a run for it a long time ago.

Her heart stuttered when she looked through the crowd and met his eyes. He looked like he was suffering, sitting there with his brows furrowed and a distant look. When he saw her gazing at him, he quickly replaced his look of pain with a smile. Even though it was fake, it still made her blush.

Somehow, he had always had the power to do that to her with the simplest of gestures. A smile, a wink, the light touch of his hand to her waist.

She snapped her gaze back to Graham. These were not thoughts she should be having right now.

“Now, though I’m quite sure we will have no issues…” The priest looked sternly around the room, as if daring someone to stand and speak, “I’d like to take the time to offer anyone who objects to this union to speak or forever hold their peace.”

Silence fell, the faint sounds of breathing and shuffling the only noises to be heard in the spacious room.

All eyes were on her, including Graham’s… and _his_. She could feel the heat of his stare from all the way across the chapel. The intense, meaningful gaze that told her everything he was thinking without him saying a word. It made her sweat.

What was she doing?

She looked at Graham with as much focus and determination as she could muster but no matter how hard she tried, her eyes kept finding their way back to Killian. Words from years back echoed in her ears. Declarations of love and heartbreak and every painful thing in between. Her heart felt heavy and her eyes filled with tears.

_What. was. she. doing?_

The preacher was just about to call it when it happened. She just blurted it out without a thought.

“I object.”

If she thought the stares were overwhelming before, they were heated enough to burn a hole straight through her now.

“Excuse me?” The preacher looked utterly dumbfounded. But she hardly knew what she was doing herself much less how to explain it to him.

She looked over at Graham, ignoring the scolding stares from the others around her.

“I… I’m sorry.”

And then she was running. Running as fast and as far as she possibly could, hoping everyone had enough sense to know not to follow her.

++++

Emma’s head pounded, her breaths labored and her beautiful white dress now covered at the bottom in dirt and grass stains.

Tears threatened to spill out at any moment as she lowered herself down to the edge of the dock, her feet dangling over the water below.

She had just bolted from her wedding. She was about to be _married_ and she just turned around and _ran_. What was wrong with her?

That certainly seemed to be the question of the day.

Her eyes fell shut, a single tear falling and making a splash in the ocean. When she opened them and saw her reflection gazing back- her makeup running, her hair falling out and her mangled gown- the rest of the tears came flowing out like she was a human faucet.

Body-wracking sobs escaped her and echoed in the vast land around her. Luckily, she was alone. Otherwise people might think she was dying or something. Which it kind of felt like she was.

Her heart seemed so overwhelmingly heavy. Like a weight in her chest that she couldn’t support. And her head, filled with flashes of Graham’s shocked expression and Killian’s wide, blue eyes, it hurt. _Everything_ hurt.

“I’m a terrible person,” She screamed into the air, “I am a terrible, terrible person!”

Yelling was going to do nothing to help her ward off her exhaustion or the sting of guilt she felt deep at her core, she knew that. But something about irrational, unrestricted screaming was strangely therapeutic.

Her eyes once again met her reflection in the water and it only made her want to scream more. It was like everything around her was reminding her what a pathetic mess she really was.

“Screw you.” She mumbled, taking off her shoe and throwing it at the water where it reflected herself back to her. “Freaking screw. you.”

She took off her other shoe and threw it as well, then her necklace, then her earrings, until she finally had her grasp on her veil, her arm cocked back and ready to toss it into the water.

Then she saw herself. Angry and about to throw her best friend’s most cherished possession into the ocean, and she suddenly realized just how insane she was being.

She pulled back, breathing deeply as she gazed at the beautiful veil in her hands. She’d really, truly screwed up this time. All the people she loved most were counting on her and she couldn’t come through for them. All because of some stupid, unresolved feelings she had for a man who broke her heart years before.

How could she ever face Graham again? Or Ingrid, or _Mary Margaret._ Oh, Mary Margaret would be so heart broken. She’d been so sure that Graham was the right choice for her. How could she explain to her that she never loved him?

Her life was officially a mess. And she owed it all to Killian. Stupid, stupid Killian who just had to rsvp yes and throw her whole world off its axis yet again. Because apparently the first time wasn’t enough for him.

She put the veil beside her, falling back so she was laying on the dock.

“What am I going to do?”

“I might have a few suggestions.”

She startled at the voice, almost falling into the water as she shot up to look behind her.

Of course, it had to be him. Her patented bad luck was outdoing itself today.

“Go away, Killian.” She waved him off, looking back out to the ocean. Something about the horizon at sunset had always been calming for her.

Pretending as if he hadn’t heard her, he walked over and sat down beside her, close enough that his shoulder brushed hers. Even with his suit jacket between them, the contact still sent electric waves shooting through her skin.

“They’re not mad at you, Swan. Just worried.”

Her heart rate picked up, beating out of control in her chest.

“Well, they should be mad.”

A breeze came by and blew through her hair, pulling the last few pieces down from her once perfect bun and sending shivers coursing through her body. Why didn’t she grab a jacket before she left? Though she probably wouldn’t have had time with the whole bolting from her wedding thing and all.

She hugged herself, trying her best to keep warm and failing miserably. Then, before she knew what was happening, she was wrapped in something warm and soft.

Her gaze shifted to fall on Killian, who now sat there in just a thin dress shirt as he looked out, pretending like nothing had happened.

“I can’t take your jacket, Killian.” She started to take it off, but he stopped her.

“You’ll freeze out here when that sun disappears. Besides,” He gestured to his sleeves, “I don’t need it.”

She nodded reluctantly, pulling the jacket farther around her so that none of her skin was exposed to the wind.

She’d never say it out loud, but it felt like heaven being wrapped in the warmth of his jacket. The smell of his cologne still lingered on the soft fabric, soothing her as it had so often in times past.

After a few moments of painfully awkward silence, she finally got the courage to ask him the question that had been nagging at her all day.

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, they needed someone to find you and I volunteered. It took some convincing to make Mary Margaret let me go instead of her but in spite of our differences, I think even she knows that I know you better than anyone--“

“--No, Killian. _What are you doing here_? Why did you come to my wedding? What exactly made you think that was a good idea?”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, leaving it tousled in that way she always liked when they were together. Something about the ruggedness of it was just so-

_No, Emma. Focus_.

“I didn’t think it was a good idea. I thought it was a bloody terrible idea.”

She laughed. Not in a ‘wow so funny’ kind of way. But more in a ‘is this guy serious’ kind of way.

“I’m sorry if this is too blunt, but if you thought it was such a ‘bloody terrible idea”,” She inquired, mimicking his accent (Horribly), “Why the he:: are you here?”

His face fell, all lightheartedness fading as he answered her.

“Because I never got over you.”

It felt like she had her breath stolen from her. He never got over her? He, the one who left her in the first place, ‘never got over he'? What kind of sick joke was this?

“Are you freaking kidding me?”

“I’m being one hundred percent serious, love.”

She shook her head, laughing bitterly.

How convenient his timing was. He left her _years_ ago because he ‘didn’t want to hold her back’. He ripped her heart out and crushed it without a second thought and then disappeared from her life with no promises to return. He had all the time in the world to come back. All the time in the world to correct his mistake. Yet he decides to wait until her wedding day to suddenly not be over her?

“No.”

“What?”

“No!” She screamed, finally breaking, “You left me, Killian. I told you I loved you and you said you felt the same and then you just left. You don’t get to not be ‘over’ me.”

The tears she thought were over came pouring out again, more uncontainable than ever.

Killian furrowed his brows, his face twisting into anger. “That’s not bloody fair! You knew why I had to leave.”

“No, I didn’t! All I knew was that the one person I thought would never leave me was gone and that he wasn’t coming back.”

He clenched his jaw, looking away from her.

A long while past in silence. Both of them had a million things they needed to say yet neither knew how to say them.

Then…

“I love you, Killian,” Emma blurted out finally, throwing caution to the wind, “I loved you even when you were a mess. You think I cared about your issues? I'm the poster child for issues! I never needed you to be perfect, I just needed you to be _there_.”

A look of guilt washed over him. Just like that night. But this time he wasn’t getting up and walking out on her. He stayed right where he was, a determined look in his eyes.

“And I needed to feel like I deserved you. You were- _are_ the most amazing woman I’ve ever met, Emma. You’re so smart and so brave and too good for a man with a drinking problem and a disability.”

His eyes fell to his prosthetic and her heart shattered. He had always been so ashamed of it. Even when she told him she didn’t care, that she saw him as a whole man even if he didn’t. He could never get past it. Which is what led to the drinking problem in the first place.

She started to say something, to protest, but he wasn’t finished.

“I wasn’t what you needed, Swan. I wasn’t what you deserved. I didn’t leave you because I didn’t love you, I left you because I did,” His eyes locked with hers, tears shining in the impossibly blue orbs, “And I still do.”

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to him, crashing his lips against hers before she even knew what was happening.

Her heart stopped, everything around her blurring as she kissed him back with a passion she’d forgotten she could possess.

It was as if no time had passed at all for them. He could still make her feel as if the world around her didn’t exist with the simple touch of his lips against hers. Her soul still longed for him in an inexplicable way, a way that could never be quenched even when she was with him, constantly wanting more.

He pulled back, pressing a light kiss to her nose before resting his forehead against hers.

She couldn’t help the tear that fell down her cheek. It was all so overwhelming. The things she was feeling that she hadn’t in so long. Having him so close. It was more than she could handle.

His thumb swiped at her cheeks to dry them but the tears just kept coming. You’d think she’d be out of tears to cry by now, but she wasn’t. Not even close.

“Don’t cry, love. It hurts to see you cry.”

She pulled away from him finally, needing space.

“I can’t help it. I…”

He put his hand over hers but kept his distance. He always knew when she needed boundaries.

“It’s ok, Emma. I hurt you in a way that can’t be forgiven in a matter of hours. I didn’t _expect_ it to be forgiven in a matter of hours. I just… needed you to know how I feel.”

She looked at him again, his soft, understanding smile a centering thing amongst the chaos.

Why did she have to feel this way? Why couldn’t she love the man she almost married back at that church? The one who hadn’t hurt her, the one who never would.

The answer was clear. You can’t love someone when you’re already hopelessly in love with someone else. Even if that person was the one who broke your heart. Even if he was the one who drove you crazy. Love always had been an irrational, uncontrollable thing. Why did she expected it to make an exception for her?

“I can’t get married.” She admitted, as if it wasn’t already obvious.

“You shouldn’t.”

All the tension fell from her body, exhaustion finally staking its claim. Killian draped his arm around her and she found herself relaxing against him, however stupid it was.

The sun had finally faded into the horizon and as the last vestiges of light slowly slipped away, stars began to take its place. It was a breathtaking sight. But Killian couldn’t take his eyes off of her.

She was just as beautiful, if not more, as the first day he’d met her. Even with her face lightly stained with mascara and her hair a wild, tangled mess, she was the most gorgeous sight in the world to him.

It hurt him to say what he was about to and ruin this perfect moment. But he loved her, and love was unselfish, so he said it anyway.

“You need to talk to Graham.”

A small sigh escaped her. He recognized that sigh. The infamous ‘I don’t want to admit that you’re right but you are’ sigh.

“I know,” She agreed, but didn’t move from her spot against his side, “But not yet. For now let’s just pretend that it’s four years ago and none of that stupid stuff between us happened. Just for a while, okay?”

Her eyes fell closed, her lashes dusting over the tops of her cheeks in a way that made her look so ethereal, Killian thought for a moment he may have simply been dreaming of her again.

But then her hand touched his and his skin tingled in a very real, definitely-not-a-dream way.

“Okay.”

++++

Emma had had her fair share of hard moments in her life.

She was in the foster system until she was 14. Even when she was finally adopted by Ingrid, it took her months to find friends.

Then she met Mary Margret, and David by extension, and that all changed. For a while, she had a really perfect life.

But then college came along and she met Killian. The only man she’d ever loved. He made her feel cherished and loved in a way she never knew she could. It had been a whirlwind romance full of ups and downs until finally it had come to a crashing halt.

Her life from then on seemed to be full of never ending hard moments. From finding a decent job, to adjusting to life without Killian, and constantly trying to fill a void that couldn’t be filled by dating dirt bag after dirt bag.

Finally, Mary introduced her to Graham. He was kind and loyal, and loved her with his whole heart. She felt safe with him and she loved that feeling. Unfortunately, she didn’t love him.

Which brought her to this current hard moment. Maybe the hardest one of them all.

How do you tell someone you care about that you can’t be with them? That you love someone else? If she kept overthinking it, she’d turn around and run away just as she had hours before. So, she took the plunge and knocked.

For a moment, she thought he wasn’t going to answer. It felt like she was standing there forever. But eventually the door swung open and she was face to face with the man whose heart she had undoubtedly shattered.

“Emma?”

She should’ve thought about what she was going to say, but instead she just dove in head first.

“I know that you probably have no interest in seeing me right now, and I get that. Believe me, I get that. But please, just give me a little bit of your time so that I can explain to you what happened earlier because I can’t stand the thought of you sitting around wondering if you did something wrong,” She stopped, coming up for air for a moment before continuing, “Because you didn’t. The only one with problems here is me.”

He sighed, stepping aside so that she could come in to his apartment.

What should’ve been _their_ apartment.

It felt strange to be sitting on _her_ couch in the apartment that was almost hers, but now was simply a reminder of something that would never be.

“What are you doing here, Emma?” Graham asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been looming over them.

What a good question.

“I’m leaving.” She said without thinking. Something she seemed to be doing an awful lot of today.

“Um, ok… you just got here, though—“

“—No, I mean I’m leaving town. I’m moving to New York. At least for a little while…”     There was so much bouncing around in her head, she could hardly think straight, but she tried anyway. “I just really need a change of scenery, you know?”

He nodded. She may have just been a totally insensitive jerk to him in front of hundreds of people, but of course he was still being understanding. That’s just the kind of person Graham was.

Why couldn’t she make herself love him?

“I knew you couldn’t stay here forever. You always deserved better than Storybrooke.”

Her heart sank at that. She had a feeling he meant something- _someone_ else when he said Storybrooke.

She reached across the coffee table and grabbed his hand, holding it tightly.

“I never meant to hurt you, Graham. I wanted to want to marry you. You have no idea how much I wanted that.”

His grey eyes filled with tears as he gazed understandingly at her. “I wanted you to want to marry me too. But I should’ve known… your heart belongs to someone else. It always has.”

She hated h

erself for not wanting the man before her. But the heart wants what it wants. And her heart would _always_ want Killian. “I’m the only one missing out on something here,” She gestured at herself and then him, “I hope you know that.”

He smiled knowingly. “We’d both be missing out on real love if you’d have said ‘I do’ today, Emma. Even if it hurts now… you did me a favor.”

A tear streamed down her cheek and made a splash on both their hands. Never had she known a more kindhearted man than Graham. She’d always loved that about him.

“Thank you. For everything you’ve given me over these years… and for not hating me.”

“I could never hate you,” He whispered, placing a light kiss to her hand, “Now go get him.”           “What?”    He laughed as if what he was getting at was completely obvious. And to be fair, it was. Emma just didn’t want to admit it.       “I’m not an idiot, Emma. I know that you’re still in love with your ex. Now, would you get out of here and go get him already?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. She may not be in love with Graham, but she did love him. As a person, as a friend. And she always would.

“You’re going to be ok, right?” She asked him as she stood from the couch.

The look on his face was so bright and optimistic, it filled her with hope.

“I’m going to be great.”

+++++

Emma smiled as the light streamed into her empty apartment. It had served her well. Been her home for years. Now, it was time to find a new home. A permanent home.

She was about to grab the last of the boxes when a pair of arms wrapped around her, pulling her against them as they nuzzled their nose in her hair.

“Is that the last of them?” He whispered, his breath tickling her ear.

She couldn’t stop herself from smiling like an idiot. It had been so long since she’d been this happy. In fact, she wasn’t so sure she’d _ever_ been as happy as she was now.

“Yep. We’re ready to go.”

Killian whipped her around suddenly, sending her into a fit of giggles as he kissed her face all over.

“Brilliant,” He breathed once he’d finally stopped, “Our life together is officially on track, love.”

Our life. Emma loved the sound of that.

She pressed a light kiss to his lips and pulled him just a little closer. She felt like she could never be quite close enough to him.

“Ready to go?”

“Yes…” His eyes drifted from hers to the box on the floor, “But I’m afraid you’re wrong about having everything packed. There’s something missing.”

She furrowed her brows as she looked around the empty room. She’d checked everything off her list and then checked again just to be sure. _Twice_. There was not a chance that she’d forgotten something.

“No there isn’t. I’ve gotten every single last thing out of this place. You’re craz-“ She gasped when she turned around to find him knelt on one knee, a beautiful diamond ring in his hand.

“You forgot this.” He stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Words. She needed words.

Though she wasn’t sure which ones would be appropriate. She couldn’t believe this was happening.

As if he’d read her mind, (Which she was starting to think he really _could_ do.) he spoke instead.

“I should have never left you all those years ago, Emma. I was a pathetic, broken man who thought he didn’t deserve you,” He paused, thinking over his next words, “But here’s the thing, I will never deserve you. Try as I may. And I will try. Every day for the rest of my life.”

He took her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes, Swan. I know now that I’ll never be perfect… But there’s one thing amidst all the uncertainty of life that I want you to be sure of. That I will always, _always_ be by your side.”

“I’m not sure I know what you’re trying to ask me… can you be more specific?” She joked, biting her lip to keep from smiling.

A wide smile spread across his scruffy face.

“Emma Swan, will you marry me?”

“Yes!” She pulled him up and peppered kisses all across his face, “ _Yes, yes, yes_.”

“I’m not sure you’re being clear enough, love,” He chuckled, “Your answer is ‘yes, right?”

The world around them faded as their eyes met, the only thing they could see being each other and that big, shiny ring on Emma’s finger.

“That is definitely my answer.”

Their hands found each other, entwining as the two of them swayed in each other’s arms. Never in her life had she felt safer or more at home than she did in this moment. This perfect moment.

“I love you, Emma Swan.”

She smiled. Those words coming out of his mouth was something she’d never tire of.

“I love you too, Killian Jones.”


End file.
